Overbearing mother ‘hijacks’ daughter's Valentine's Day dinner plans with her husband and son, mom guilt-trips her when she tries to put her foot down

Advertisement
  • "My mom is hijacking MY Valentine's dinner..."
  • Ok I don't really know how to start this, there's a lot of prefacing for this just so you can understand my side. Basically my mom (55f) has always had things her way, and always kinda treated
  • me (31f) differently than she does with my sister (27f) as in she was the golden child. Things I've said or done have always been pushed to the side and I've always been treated as just help. Things are expected from me and not asked of me. My boundaries are not respected ever.
  • My mom has also been the type of person who always thinks things are for her. I can go to the market and buy myself something I will verbally say is for my work lunches and she will
  • layer the same day say she wants to eat some. Or same but different me and my little family (husband (32m) and son (13m) ) will buy fast food for ourselves and she will walk in and start
  • taking fries from each of us and then ask one of us for a bite of their food. She's even done this for when my husband made me an anniversary dinner. We can never do something food related for just ourselves because she will always expect something.
  • This brings us to what has recently happened. Me and my mom were doing a house market trip together, usually it's me and my husband that go but he decided to stay home this time around so I asked if my mom wanted to go with.
  • While we were working on our list I happened to of found a bag of cute pink heart shaped pastas. I was already tying to figure out what I wanted to make for my boys for hearts day and I figured this would be perfect. So I
  • grabbed what looked like the last bag and excitedly told my mom "look this is perfect for me to make for the boys!" (For the record I ALWAYS refer to my husband and son as 'the boys' when talking about the two of
  • them) I continued with "I'm sure I can find a fun recipe to make for the two of them. It's perfect because I'm making them spam masubi to take for lunch too that day" I made sure to say this to kinda reinstate that this was something I was going to make for my boys. Not so much her and my dad. She agrees and we carry on.
  • THE VERY NEXT DAY she tells me she found a jar of some Alfredo sauce that I could use for the pasta. To which I tell her I was thinking of making my own. But then she mentions that it's the kind my dad can have. ( side info:
  • my dad had C id a while back and it messed with his tastebuds and there are certain things he can't eat because they taste awful now, example garlic. Which is why that jar in particular would work, it didn't have garlic.) I was
  • a-little confused as to why she mentioned my dad and before I could ask she says that if I make the sauce I have to make sure to use just salt and pepper this way he can eat it.
  • While I don't mind making a dinner for everyone I only bought one bag of the pasta and quite frankly I already told her this was MY GIFT to my boys. So how did it become my thing for everyone? Of course she caught me with this conversation as I was running late to work so I left.
  • Cheezburger Image 10468341760
  • Now two weeks later, the day before Valentine's Day she stops me as I'm getting ready for work to say that she's going to bring out pork chops to go with the pasta. (Not what I had planned at all) I explain I was going to make
  • chicken on the side, and she acted shocked and reminded me that my dad could have chicken (due to the Co id taste buds) | explained that this was what I had planned already, and took the opportunity to mention that I
  • would separate the pasta so she could make it tailored to my dad while I make mine, and she quickly tuned her tune to annoyed and short sentences "fine. Whatever. Just leave me some. I guess I'll just make it. You do whatever." And just walks away (something she does everytime something doesn't go her way)
  • I had already spilled the beans to my husband a couple days ago about my plans for dinner and he was excited. Till I told him that my mom was apart of it too. He was more bummed out for me that I was trying to make this
  • cute gesture but it didn't feel intimate anymore and more like a normal dinner. He's still grateful but it doesn't feel special anymore. Which I wholeheartedly agree as well. I was very excited to make them their lunch and dinner. Only for her to just squeeze herself into it.
  • I know this may sound like a silly thing to get upset about but it's always something with her.. I just wanted to do something for my husband and son, They're MY Valentine's My dad is not that's HER Valentine Am I overreacting?
  • Extra info: we live together, she can't work so we moved in to help my dad with rent while helping us with rent. It's been working it's just her and her little things like this.
  • More info: We kinda sorta eat together? My husband gets out 3 hour later than my dad and my dad doesn't like to eat late dinners so he eats about 5/6pm? While my husband doesn't eat till about 8/9pm. With the whole co id tastebuds thing my mom has been making him his own dinners once in a while or the main dinner is something he can eat.
  • My husband will make dinner when he can but for the most part it is just me making dinner, idk when it became just me doing it? My mom and i were taking turns at one point?
  • I'm horrible with confrontation and I try my best to say things. It's honestly extremely hard for me to put my foot down. Kinda one of those things thats really engraved onto my brain from when I was a kid..
  • Altruistic_Tonigh... If you live together, move out. But also, be specific. Tell her directly that the dinner is you, your husband, & son. Her & your dad need to figure it out because they're not eating with you.
  • Disastrous-Pand... It's time to work on a plan to move out. I also wouldn't have brought her on a trip to the market if you know how she is when it comes to buying food. I wouldn't be surprised if you come home and she's already made it with the sauce she wants to use for your dad

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article